Apologies to Lawrence Sterne

So John Kerry and George W.Bush were both Skull and Bones. . .

Well Trim decided he wanted to be President. In 2004, he decided to run against Uncle Toby. So Trim thought the time he had spent in the army would help him. His friend Dan spread the word that Uncle Toby was not really in the army. But that wasn't true. So Trim tried to make himself a war hero, when in reality he was on the hobby horse with Daniel Ortega. So Trim lost the election, but retains a solid military bearing he never had when he actually was a soldier. But nitwits are the only ones to believe that Trim wasn't really trying.