Law and Precedent

       "I said there was a Society of Men among us, bred up from their Youth in the Art of proving by Words multiplied for the Purpose, that White is Black and Black is White, according as they are paid.  To this Society all the rest of the People are Slaves.
       For example.  If my Neighbor hath a mind to my Cow, he hires a Lawyer to prove that he ought to have my Cow from me.  I must then hire another to defend my Right;  it being against all Rules of Law that any Man should be allowed to speak for himself.  Now in this Case, I who am the true Owner lie under two great Disadvantages.  First, my Lawyer being practiced almost from his Cradle in defending Falsehood;  is quite out of his Element when he would be an Advocate for Justice, which as an Office unnatural, he always attempts with great Awkwardness, if not with Ill-will.  The second Disadvantage is, that my Lawyer must proceed with great Caution:  Or else he will be reprimanded by the Judges, and abhorred by his Brethren, as one who would lessen the Practice of the Law.  And therefore I have but two Methods to preserve my Cow.  The first is, to gain over my Adversary's Lawyer with a double Fee;  who will then betray his Client, by insinuating that he hath Justice on his Side.  The second Way is for my Lawyer to make my Cause appear as unjust as he can;  by allowing the Cow to belong to my Adversary;  and this if it be skillfully done, will certainly bespeak the Favour of the Bench.
       Now, your Honour is to know, that these Judges are Persons appointed to decide all Controversies of Property, as well as for the Tryal of Criminals;  and picked out from the most dextrous Lawyers who are grown old or lazy:  And having been byassed all their Lives against Truth and Equity, lie under such a fatal Necessity of favouring Fraud, Perjury and Oppression;  that I have known some of them to have refused a large Bribe from the Side where Justice lay, rather than injure the Faculty, by doing any thing unbecoming their Nature or their Office.
       It is a Maxim among these Lawyers, that whatever hath been done before, may legally be done again:  And therefore they take special Care to record all the Decisions formerly made against common Justice and the general Reason of Mankind.  These, under the name of Precedents, they produce as Authorities to justify the most iniquitous Opinions;  and the Judges never fail of directing accordingly.
       In pleading, they studiously avoid entering into the Merits of the Cause;  but are loud, violent and tedious in dwelling upon all Circumstances which are not to the Purpose.  For Instance, in the Case already mentioned:  They never desire to know what Claim or Title my Adversary hath to my Cow;  but whether the said Cow were Red or Black;  her Horns long or short;  whether the Field I graze her in be round or square;  whether she were milked at home or abroad;  what Diseases she is subject to, and the like.  After which they consult Precedents, adjourn the Cause, from Time to Time, and in Ten, Twenty, or Thirty Years come to an Issue.
       It is likewise to be observed, that this Society hath a peculiar Cant and Jargon of their own, that no other Mortal can understand, and wherein all their Laws are written, which they take special Care to multiply;  whereby they have wholly confounded the very Essence of Truth and Falsehood, of Right and Wrong;  so that it will take Thirty Years to decide whether the Field, left me by my Ancestors for six Generations, belong to me, or to a Stranger three Hundred Miles off."
Jonathan Swift, Gulliver's Travels, Part Three, Chapter Five

Drought, Draft, and Drouth

       A good example of the evolution of language is the way the word "Draft" and its related words have changed in usage.  Drought is the older spelling of draft.  Older writing will refer to taking a drought of water, or feeling a drought of air.  Older writing will refer to a period without rain as a drouth.  One seldom sees a mention of drouth after the 1940s, when it was replaced by drought.  At the same time, people started talking about feeling a draft, and bars began serving draft beer.

Querying the Dead in Laputa

       "I was chiefly disgusted with modern History.  For having strictly examined all the Persons of greatest Name in the Courts of Princes for a Hundred Years past, I found how the World had been misled by prostitute Writers, to ascribe the greatest Exploits in War to Cowards, the wisest Counsel to Fools, Sincerity to Flatterers, Roman Virtue to Betrayers of their Country, Piety to Atheists, Chastity to Sodomites, Truth to Informers.  How many innocent and excellent Persons had been condemned to Death or Banishment, by the practising of great Ministers upon the Corruption of Judges, and the Malice of Factions.  How many Villains had been exalted to the highest Places of Trust, Power, Dignity, and Profit:  How great a Share in the Motions and Events of Courts, Councils, and Senates might be challenged by Bawds, Whores, Pimps, Parasites, and Buffoons:  How low an Opinion I had of human Wisdom and Integrity, when I was truly informed of the Springs and Motives of great Enterprizes and Revolutions in the World, and of the contemptible Accidents to which they owed their Success.
       Here I discovered the Roguery and Ignorance of those who pretend to write Anecdotes, or secret History;  who send so many Kings to their Graves with a Cup of Poison;  will repeat the Discourse between a Prince and chief Minister, where no Witness was by;  unlock the Thoughts and Cabinets of Embassadors and Secretaries of State;  and true Causes of many great Events that have surprized the World:  How a Whore can govern the Back-stairs, the Back-stairs a Council, and the Council the Senate.   A General confessed in my Presence, that he got a Victory purely by the Force of Cowardice and ill Conduct:  And an Admiral, that for want of proper Intelligence, he beat the Enemy to whom he intended to betray the Fleet.  Three Kings protested to me, that in their whole Reigns they did never once prefer any Person of Merit, unless by Mistake or Treachery of some Minister in whom they confided:  Neither would they do it if they were to live again;  and they shewed with great Strength of Reason, that the Royal Throne could not be supported without Corruption;  because, that positive, confident, restive Temper, which Virtue infused into Man, was a perpetual Clog to publick Business.
       I had the Curiosity to enquire in a particular Manner, by what Method great Numbers had procured to themselves high Titles of Honour, and prodigious Estates;  and I confined my Enquiry to a very modern Period:  However, without grating upon present Times, because I would be sure to give no Offense even to Foreigners, (for I hope the Reader need not be told that I do not in the least intend my own Country in what I say upon this Occasion) a great Number of Persons concerned were called up, and upon a very slight Examination, discovered such a Scene of Infamy, that I cannot reflect upon it without some Seriousness.  Perjury, Oppression, Subornation, Fraud, Pandarism, and the like Infirmities were amongst the most excusable Arts they had to mention;  and for these I gave, as it was reasonable, the Allowance.  But when some confessed, they owed their Greatness and Wealth to Sodomy or Incest;  others to the prostituting of their own Wives and Daughters;  others to the betraying their Country or their Prince;  some to poisoning, more to the perverting of Justice in order to destroy the Innocent:  I hope I may be pardoned if these Discoveries inclined me a little to abate of that profound Veneration which I am naturally apt to pay to Persons of high Rank, who ought to be treated with the utmost Respect due to their sublime Dignity, by us their Inferiors."
Jonathan Swift, Gulliver's Travels, Part Three, Chapter Eight.

Indictment of England by King of Brobdingnag

       "He said, he knew no Reason, why those who entertain Opinions prejudicial to the Publick, should be obliged to change, or should not be obliged to conceal them.  And, as it was Tyranny in any Government to require the first, so it was Weakness not to enforce the second:  For, a Man may be allowed to keep Poisons in his Closet, but not to vend them about as Cordials.

        My little Friend, Grildrig;  you have made a most admirable Panegyrick upon your Country.  You have clearly proved that Ignorance, Idleness, and Vice are the proper Ingredients for qualifying a Legislature.  That Laws are best explained, interpreted, and applied by those whose Interest and Abilities lie in perverting, confounding, and eluding them.  I observe among you some lines of an Institution, which in its Original might have been tolerable;  but these half erased, and the rest wholly blurred and blotted by Corruptions.  It doth not appear from all you have said, how any one Perfection is required towards the Procurement of any one Station among you;  much less that Men are ennobled on Account of their Virtue, that Priests are advanced for their Piety or Learning, Soldiers for their Conduct or Valour, Judges for their Integrity, Senators for the Love of their Country, or Counsellors for their Wisdom.  As for yourself (continued the King) who have spent the greatest Part of your Life in travelling;  I am well disposed to hope you may hitherto have escaped many Vices of your Country.  But, by what I have gathered from your own Relation, and the Answers I have with much Pains wringed and extorted from you;  I cannot but conclude the Bulk of your Natives, to be the most pernicious Race of little odious Vermin that Nature ever suffered to crawl upon the Surface of the Earth."
Jonathan Swift, Gulliver's Travels, Part Two, Chapter Six.

Pioneer Members of St. Paul's Catholic Church, Macomb, Ill.

   "It was with interest mingled with sadness that we read the reminiscence of the old St. Paul's Catholic Church in Macomb.  Yet the names of many people who have been instrumental in the building of the old church have been omitted.  In Macomb, we have the following families:  Patrick O'Meara, who came to Macomb in 1865.  He left Macomb about 35 years ago to reside in Salt Lake City, Utah.  Both he and his wife are now deceased, only the two children, Frances and William, are now living.  While in Macomb Mr. O'Meara owned a little shoe shop on the square and worked diligently to educate his children and help to support the church.  He lived to see his children millionaires.
       Mr. J. Howland and his three daughters, Ann, Kate and Margaret, known as the Howland sisters, were early residents of the parish.  Margaret Howland was a devoted member of the church, a splendid woman, lately deceased.
       Two other of the old families of the city were the McNamaras and the Vails.  In Chalmers township was the Terence Lavery family, none of whom now reside in the parish.  One son, John, lives in South Dakota, where he is an extensive land owner.
       A few miles north of Macomb, just north of the Patrick Laughlin farm, was the Thomas Murray family, who settled in Emmet township in the '60s.  One daughter, Mrs. Mary Sullivan, now lives in Macomb.
       Farther north, on what was then known as the prairies, was the home of Bernard Tierney, who came to the county in 1851, and lived in the parish the remainder of his life, with the exception of a few years when he followed the Oregon Trail of the gold fields of northern California.  At that time the Edmund Burke and Joseph Wills families lived in Walnut Grove township and the John McSperritt family.  Later came Patrick Tierney, Thomas Morton, the Hardeys, the Colgans and the Willis Rileys, also the Roaches, Mc Glynns and Brennans of Bushnell and the Carlins of Table Grove.
       The old church had also the honor of being the baptismal place of a bishop, the Rt. Rev. Joseph Sarsfield Glass, at present presiding over the diocese of Salt Lake City, Utah.  A man loved and respected by Catholics and Protestants alike for his works of charity and kindness to the poor of the city.
      In St. Paul's parish were brave pioneer men and women who, undaunted by the conditions of the weather and often under adverse circumstances, drove the long miles to Macomb in order to be present at the Sunday mass.  Most of the old people are peacefully sleeping in the little Catholic cemetery, north of the city.  Of their descendents some are here, others are in distant places, in the Land of the Dakotahs or on the far Wyoming plains;  others 'neath the mountain shadows of Colorado or Montana--yes, from the great Atlantic seaboard to the far Pacific slope, the children of St. Paul's are scattered.  May they each be happy and prosperous, and when life's journey for them is over may they be with their beloved pastors--the shepherds of their flocks--be reunited in heaven, there to chant for all eternity the Gloria in Excelsis Deo before the throne of God.-- M."

Macomb Daily Journal 5 AUG 1925, (p. 5)

Top of the World, Ma!

       Tennessee Senator Marsha Blackburn, whose conservative credentials are far better than those of Orange Blatherskite, has nonetheless decided to nail her flag to Trump's mast.  Showing loyalty to someone who shows none to his Attorney General seems a big mistake.  Apparently, Jeff Sessions is supposed to refuse to prosecute Republicans when they break the law.  What's more, apparently Orange Blatherskite also called his own Attorney General a "stupid Southerner" and "mentally retarded."  (Remember all those people who tried to say that he hadn't made fun of a journalist's disability, and Ann Coulter's worrisome explanation that O.B. was ridiculing a "standard retard?"  Some pro-lifer, that Donald Trump!)
       How will Marsha Blackburn use Trump to win votes when Tennessee voters are, in the president's estimation, "dumb Southerners?"  A perplexing question.
       The president shows no loyalty for his underlings.  He uses people for his own advancement, and then throws them away.  Sort of like White Heat gangster Cody Jarrett.  
        In the 90s, Democrats made themselves look terribly silly defending the amoral Bill Clinton through his series of womanizing claims and worse.  Feminists in particular seemed to think legalized abortion made up for a president who used women like Kleenex.  Republicans are starting to look just as silly, defending a lout who can't even treat his own Attorney General with respect.  They should also remember how White Heat ends;  Cody Jarrett is cornered with no escape, and chooses a violent explosion rather than facing more jail time.

Utilize, Facilitate and Idolize

      The neologisms where nouns are transformed into verbs are usually to be avoided, especially if there are alternative words that work.  Utilize is probably the most egregious of these.  I suspect that utilize arose out of a love affair with John Stuart Mill.  "Use" is an alternative that is not only shorter, but has no savor of pretentious jargon to it.  Facilitate is another turkey of a word.  Enable or sponsor are far better words, and once again, using them doesn't make it sound like you are making things more complicated than they have to be.
       Idolize is much the same as utilize or facilitate, with the exception that there aren't many words with the same shade of meaning.  The most similar word Estase can think of is venerate, but venerate has no ironic shade of meaning.  When one says venerate, that implies genuine religious devotion.  After all, one might say he or she idolizes Mick Jagger.  One would never say they venerate Mick Jagger.