The Obama Double Event

       On 29 SPB 1888, Jack the Ripper claimed his third victim, Elizabeth Stride, and his fourth victim, Catherine Eddowes.  This double event marked the escalation of violence in the ripper's attacks, as well as the first and only time the ripper killed two women in one night.  The ripper, whose first murder had been a simple strangulation, had now progressed to the violent dismemberment of women, which would culminate in his disassembly of Mary Kelly, the fifth and possibly last victim.
       Last week, President Oh Blah Blah followed up his administration's scandal of indefinitely delayed treatment of veterans by the VA with the release of five dangerous Muslim terrorist in exchange for Army deserter Bowe Bergdahl.  This two-pronged slap in the face to America's military was the Obama double event.  Showing on one hand a callous indifference to people who defended the colors in World War II, Korea, and Vietnam, while being absurdly self-sacrificing in defense of someone who betrayed his unit by leaving his post shows the schizophrenia of modern liberalism.  Letting people who honorably served go without treatment while letting terrorists go free to get a deserter back shows the ambivalence of liberals towards soldiers.  Good soldiers get crapped on, while bad soldiers have the store given away on their behalf. 

Frederick Schickelgruber Speaks

       Kaitlyn urged me to write something on her father's blog.  Lepidus and his friend Frank are unregenerated neanderthals who never understand what I am saying.  In the interest of helping Frank and Lepidus' readers evolve, I have finally relented.  You see, I teach several sections of my course on existentialism.  It wasn't easy to find the time for this exercise.
      The beauty of existentialism is that it has no constraining element of "truth."  Truth is always the interest of the stronger.  Frank and Lepidus also seem to have a bizarre idea that there is some unchanging standard of right and wrong.  Lastly, they have a bourgeois idea that there are provable facts.
       How do these two know things for certain?  What one person chooses to believe is right or correct is entirely subjective.  One ultimately must accept authority rather than seek out something as being true or right.  This obsession with reason and theory is the basis for capitalist thinkers.  This principle is particularly significant in a world whose magnificent exterior radiates complete unity and order while panic and distress prevail beneath.  Autocrats, cruel colonial governors, and sadistic prison wardens have always wished for visitors with this positivistic mentality.  If science as a whole follows the lead of empiricism and the intellect renounces its insistant and confident probing of the tangled brush of observations in order to unearth more about the world than even our well-meaning daily press, it will be participating passively in the maintenance of universal injustice.  Thinking hard about facts is a right-wing way of life based on fantasy.

Kaitlyn Wagstaff on Choice

        I just read about a cool feminist comedian who said she'd like to rip the uterus out of some boring Republican congresswoman from Washington.  Frederick was having coffee with me and I told him about it.  He said, "I thought we'd gotten all the Republicans out of Washington?"  If only Fred, if only!  I totally agree with the comedian.  I mean, real women, we get pregnant three times a year, and have an abortion.  Keeps your circulation good.  I once had a D and C just because I missed the sound of the vacuum.
         If this anti-choice bitch doesn't get her regular abortions, what does she need with a uterus anyway?  It reminds me of a line from a favorite movie:  "What's blood for, if not for shedding?"  My dad is such a troglodyte he thinks I was a person, like, even before I was born.  I'm like, "Lepidus, if I was really a person before I was born, then wouldn't the government have made it illegal to abort me?"  Totally.